When I was pregnant with my son, I devoured any and every bit of information I could get my hands on relating to pregnancy and babies. I subscribed to about three different magazines, I watched "A Baby Story" on TLC religiously, and I read What to Expect When You're Expecting from cover to cover. Yet, when the day came to deliver, I found myself saying, "What the hell? No one told me anything about this!" Who knew that when they tell you to push like you were having a bowel movement, that you just might . . . well, have a bowel movement. Also, why didn't anyone tell me there'd be more hands in and out of my vagina than the Christmas grab-bag at work (did I just lose some readers?). Don't even get me started on the freakin' contractions you have after the baby is born (while recovering). They were actually more painful than the ones I had before!
The same thing goes with trying to get published. You can read author bios, blogs, and "How To" books until your mind explodes, but there are certain things no one warns you about. Below is a list of my top ten, and in true David Letterman style, I've saved the best for last!
10) Determination plays a larger role in success than confidence or talent.
9) Revising will often take longer than the initial writing of your manuscript.
8) A submission request can put you on cloud nine for the entire day, but a rejection can depress you for an entire week.
7) You will descend a little into madness with each book you write. Characters will have conversations in your head and will even go as far as to tell you what they want to do.
6) When people tell you not to take rejection personally--the writing is being rejected, not you--you just might have the urge to scream, "Who the hell do you think did the writing?!"
5) No matter what the manufacturer says, there is no such thing as an indestructable laptop. If you throw it against a wall, it will break.
4) Remember that first roller coaster you went on when you were a kid? The one that slowly crept up hills and then just when you got to the top, it threw you down with a take-your-breath-away fury? Yep, the entire process is a lot like that.
3) The word "subjective" to an aspiring writer is kind of like the bell to Pavlov's dog, except we don't salivate when we hear it, instead we twitch . . . severely.
2) Finding an agent can only be compared to Indiana Jones trying to find the Ark of the Covenant.
1) You will learn more than you ever imagined on this crazy journey, and if you're lucky, you might meet some amazing people (yep, that's a shout-out to ya'll ;).
Did I leave anything out? Is there anything all the research/reading in the world couldn't have prepared you for?